Japanese Bride Marrying A Caucasian In The US Asks If She Is Wrong For Not Wanting To Wear A Western Wedding Dress

She is asking if she should honor her culture and family's tradition or her mother-in-law’s wishes?

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• May 18, 2022

Honoring our heritage is important because it is a part of what we are. And honoring our future spouse’s heritage is showing that you love them as a whole, not just some parts of them.

That’s the way most people see it, right? A Redditor going by the name u/PuzzledSurround6810 asked “AITA for not wanting to wear a Western Wedding Dress at my wedding?”

She continues “I am set to marry my fiancé in the Fall of next year. My fiancé and his family are Catholic and very religious. I am Japanese while my fiancé is white, I don't care if he wears a tux like he wants to but I want to wear a Shiromuku for the actual wedding and change into an Iro-uchikake for the reception.”

And that’s where a problem appears. Our OP”s mother-in-law believes a Japanese traditional wedding gown is not appropriate for the occasion and the bride will “stick out,” and not “blend in.”

There are so many things wrong here. First, how can you negate someone’s heritage?

Second, how can you feel that the bride should fit in and not stand out? Take a look at this interesting story, and tell us what you think:

OP asks:

OP is Japanese and marring a Catholic white man. She has agreed to a Catholic wedding because it is important to her future husband and his family.

OP wants to wear a traditional Japanese wedding gown called Shiromuku for the wedding and change into a Iro-uchikake for the reception. Her MIL doesn't like the idea and wants to keep everything Western-style.

OP’s fiancé asked her if it was so important to her and suggested a compromise (that’s not really a compromise)

OP believes she is already compromising enough by having a Catholic wedding and wants to have her heritage be shown too.

The Redditors believe OP is right. After all, no church law says what a bride should wear. It only needs to be respectful.

There are plenty of church weddings where brides don't wear traditional wedding dresses.

And what's the logic behind "not sticking out too much at your wedding?"

This could be true. There is plenty of concealed racism out there...

These gowns are beautiful, and can’t embarrass anyone. Whatsmore, they can even contribute to the grandeur of the whole event.

A shiromuk style wedding dress:

Iru-Uchikake Dress:

One Redditor made a very good point. Some of the modern wedding dresses are anything but conservative and appropriate for the occasion.

The fiancé here needs to be more supportive

His future wife need support, not his mother

Yes, it is awful to see a bride sticking out on her wedding day...

What bride would ever want that?

Mixed marriages and relationships are a common occurrence. And they can only work if the people in them respect their SO.

Part of the whole respect thing is honoring their heritage (if they consider it important, of course). The fiancé in this story should be more concerned about what his future wife thinks and wants.

After all, he is marrying her, and her heritage is kinda included in the package.

Damjan