Drained Husband Takes Break From Work For Self-Care, Clingy Wife Follows Him Around Despite Request To Be Left Alone

"I’m calling a lawyer and asking how I can divorce myself from having to know his wife exists."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• March 27, 2024

A 38-year-old candidly admitted to being on the brink of a mental health crisis because of his demanding job. He took a week-long break from work to unplug and reconnect with the hobbies that used to bring him joy.

His wife understood how badly OP needed a break. She even said how happy she was he finally found the time for himself.

OP didn't plan to do ambitious things during his week-long holiday. He knew he needed to break the monotony of his daily life, which revolved around work and household chores.

OP also confessed to needing a break from his wife. He said his wife either found a chore for him to do or got upset when he didn't spend all of his free time with her.

So, OP looked forward to his first real break after months of running on fumes. The weekend before his week-long staycation, his wife informed OP that she scheduled chimney cleaners for Wednesday because he was home.

She also wrote a list of errands for him to do. As per the list, OP had to go to Home Depot, clean the yard, shop for groceries, and go through and arrange the unorganized boxes in their basement.

OP politely declined the chores. He reminded his wife that he planned to spend the week on his hobbies and address his personal needs.

His wife shrugged off his reminder and said that OP could do the chores he had time for. OP's plan to reorganize their shared home office was delayed because his wife decided to work from home.

OP couldn't even play video games in the living room because his wife said she could hear it from the office, and the noise made her sound unprofessional during meetings.

OP then opted to read, which he peacefully did for an hour before his wife sat beside him to work while she watched a reality show. She said she would mute the show when OP sarcastically reminded her of professionalism.

OP hightailed it to the bedroom after 15 minutes of reality TV noise and his wife's business calls. He found no respite because his wife interrupted him every few minutes to ask inane questions. OP gave up on his book when it was time for dinner.

His wife decided to work from home again the next day. The chimney cleaners also came in. OP had to stay in the living room to keep an eye on them.

When the cleaners were done, OP pulled his book out. His wife soon went to the living room to do as she did the previous day.

OP went to the bedroom to read. His wife followed him and worked for a few minutes beside him. She fell asleep and snored. OP couldn't concentrate on his book. He then went to the living room to watch a show.

His wife followed after 15 minutes and asked a bunch of questions about the show he watched. OP repeated a segment of the show 8 times before he gave up, defeated.

His wife informed him that she would be working from home for the rest of the week. She must have seen how crestfallen he looked because she explained why it worked for both of them to be home. OP tried to remind his wife why he needed a long break in the first place. She insisted that she understood, but her actions say otherwise. OP has been terse since then and fears that he could unfairly unload his frustrations out on his wife.

Even I need a breather from OP's wife. Reading about how she behaves is exhausting. I can only imagine how OP feels.

Has OP verbalized how her behavior affects him?

OP said he has, but his wife dismisses his concerns. If he yells, she apologizes but repeats the behavior that frustrated him in the first place.

Have they looked into paying for services that could take the pressure of doing chores off of their shoulders?

OP clarified that an equitable division of chores isn't an issue. He and his wife do not see eye to eye when it comes to free time. OP wants to relax, but his wife sees every free moment as an opportunity to accomplish tasks.

OP explained that they love each other very much, but they clash on this one aspect.

It might be time for OP to book that hotel room to save his sanity and marriage.

For the future, he could consider keeping his vacation days a secret from his wife if she doesn't learn anything from this week.

OP has repeatedly explained why he needed a break. Why can't his wife understand?

OP's post was from a throwaway account. He hasn't shared anything since his initial story, but we can only assume that he spent the rest of his break frustrated.

What would you do in OP's place? Would you go to a hotel and keep it a secret from your spouse if they refuse to give you space to recharge?

Chelsi