Expectant Mom Senses Tension As Husband Asserts Dominance With Disturbing ‘Power Moves’ Despite Agreeing To Be The Sole Provider

“I’m beginning to feel like a freeloader in my own home.”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• February 25, 2024

Ever heard the phrase, "What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine"? Well, welcome to the peculiar world of marital banter, where possessive pronouns were the bone of contention, or so it seemed for one perplexed Redditor.

Meet our narrator, a 30-year-old expectant mom who can't seem to safely utter "our bathroom" without her husband swooping in with a corrective "my house." Every time she innocently claimed a slice of their marital abode, her husband playfully reminded her of the financial fine print.

He asserted ownership with a smirk and a wink, leaving her feeling like a squatter in her own home—if she could even still call it that. If we really dived into things, OP’s husband indeed covered the full cost of housing since she exhausted her savings by clearing student loans; his name was also on everything. 

So technically, it was his house, but did he need to remind her every five seconds? Like any couple-to-be, they discussed finances before taking the plunge. He insisted he’d happily support them while she adopted the role of stay-at-home mom.

Yet, despite their agreed-upon arrangement, she couldn’t help but wonder if her lack of a traditional nine-to-five gig left her vulnerable to being branded a freeloader. Or what else triggered the sudden possessive pronoun parade? 

To add a sprinkle of confusion to the mix, her partner bristled at the mere thought of receiving gifts from well-meaning relatives. He preferred playing the role of sole provider— ah, the paradoxes of modern relationships. 

So, was it all harmless banter or a landmine waiting to explode?

The story in detail

OP’s husband has a habit of asserting dominance in their home. Apparently, he ‘jokes’ around in a way that hurts OP and has refused to change

For context: OP’s husband bought the house before they got married, while she contributes little or no finances in running the home

OP explained that her husband makes her feel like a mooch, even though they both agreed that she will be a stay-at-home mom

OP wonders if her husband really wants her to stay home or get a job so that she can contribute to their finances

Interestingly, her husband doesn’t like the idea of taking gifts from her family. He wants to pay for everything they own

We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community.

“Find yourself a job and quit doing anything around HIS house.”

“He’s slowly eroding your value and worth. He wants to remind you that he holds all the power in this relationship.”

“First step of abuse... He's making you feel like you don't belong and you have no rights.”

“This is not how marriages should operate. You should be a team that’s building a life together regardless of roles.”

“It seems he likes to buy everything to maintain a certain amount of control.”

Redditors sounded the alarm, hinting that her husband’s possessive pronouns were subtle signs of a deeper power play. 

Devoting countless hours of unpaid mental and physical labor to cater to the home and raise a child is no mean feat. However, it’s clear the OP’s husband doesn’t consider that to be a valid contribution.

Netizens urged OP to safeguard herself by getting a job rather than depending on him for her survival. In a few years time, those red flags could manifest into something she never imagined.

Jesse