Mother Wanted To Give Away Her Son With Down Syndrome To Foster Care, But His Dad Chose To Raise Him All On His Own

Sadly, many newborns who have Down Syndrome are abandoned because parents fear the unknown and believe they couldn’t handle raising them

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• October 19, 2020

Down Syndrome is caused by an additional copy of chromosome 21, and it affects a baby’s body and brain growth and development. Roughly 0.015% of babies are born with this condition.

Children with Down Syndrome are often called “sunny” because of their characters; they are incredibly gentle and friendly. And people who were fortunate enough to have the right number of chromosomes could really learn a lot from them.

Sadly, many newborns who have Down Syndrome are abandoned because parents fear the unknown and believe they couldn’t handle bringing up such a child. But, if a child with Down Syndrome grows up in a healthy and happy environment, it has every chance to lead a normal life.

The more people know about this condition, the less prejudice they will have for Down Syndrome. To make people less negative about Down Syndrome, you need to educate them first.

One Russian single father is on a mission to show the world how exceptional and amazing individuals with Down Syndrome are. 33-year-old Evgeny Anisimov decided to raise his son Misha, who has Down Syndrome, entirely on his own after his spouse left them.

This dad shares his story to inspire parents who are dealing with the same issues.

The ecstatic feeling after their child’s birth for this Russian family lasted 1 minute and 39 seconds. That is when the doctor said, “I fear that your baby has Down Syndrome”

"I didn’t know what to do when I learned of the hypothesis that my son had Down Syndrome. I thought my task now was to turn off emotions, ignite thoughts, support my wife because I believed it would be more difficult for her.

The results of the analysis we were promised in a few days, and until then, I decided not to say anything to her,” Evgeny told the reporters.

“I remember that upon learning that my son has Down Syndrome, I left the hospital and cried, but not for long. Later, I was a little embarrassed by these tears.

In my life, after all, nothing had changed, in general. I was still with two arms, with two legs, my professional knowledge had gone nowhere. My determination, activity, curiosity, and so on—everything was with me.

Everything happened as I planned, my son was born. But the child is special, his life and future destiny are already very significant. And I’m roaring here! This is some kind of selfishness! Is it not fair? No, it is my responsibility.

You did not have an amniocentesis—it is clear that the probability was low, but still. You wanted a child, so you took responsibility for it. After all, there are many options: autism, cerebral palsy, genetic mutations… And Down Syndrome is not the worst, as I learned later.”

Evgeny began researching about Down Syndrome the same night his child was born

"I started looking for information about the syndrome that same night when I returned home. I knew nothing about my son’s diagnosis. I only remembered a terrible photo from a Soviet biology textbook. I went online and researched.

I learned about Evelina Bledans and her Semyon, who was born in the same maternity ward as Mishka. I learned that in Europe, people with Down Syndrome are well-socialized, can live and work independently. But the decision I had already made was not influenced by that.”

Leaving his son wasn’t an option for this dad, but his wife felt she wasn’t up to it

"When I made the decision, I had not yet thought about the likelihood of an optimistic scenario. I thought: well, he’s going to enjoy the sunrise, I’m going to take him out to barbecue, he’s going to live his life.

Yes, maybe he seems unhappy to someone, but he will have his own life. At no time did I think of leaving my son in an orphanage, that would be inhumane.”

Evgeny and his wife soon separated, and he began his new life as a single dad

“My wife and I had always had a good and trusting relationship. There were different periods, difficulties, lack of money, separation. I am a kind type, I’m used to giving in to everything, adjusting.

Friends even ironically called me ‘dominated.’ But in this case, I was even ready for a conflict, I tried to convince her that we could overcome this situation. And the conflict separated us.

Now I understand that she was just scared at the time, she started to act according to the wrong scenario, and by then, the rubicon was already crossed and it was too late to retreat from the scenario.”

Evgeny faced many challenges, but he never gave up, and he still gives his best to raise Misha

"When a child is born, he asks the outside world: ‘Am I needed here or not?’ And I answer with certainty: ‘Son, you are needed!’ Being with him, even alone, is a normal act for a normal man. I emphasize—I am a normal man, not some kind of hero.”

"This has changed my life. I had a good job in Moscow and this was a big turning point in my career, but I couldn’t leave my son. He needed love and warmth.

I am an ordinary worker now, but I have a normal salary in my city. I lost my wife, but I am happy with the changes. My son is a very good and open kid like every other kid of his age, he loves me and it shows.”

“I think routine is the most difficult thing for me. Every minute, I must do ordinary tasks—cooking food for my son, cleaning, giving him baths, and walking with him…

Every task might seem simple, but doing it every day is very difficult. My mother helps me and I can have time for myself, which is very important.

I would advise all husbands to help their wives because although parenting is very interesting, it’s also a very hard thing.”

Evgeny organizes numerous activities to help his son’s mental and physical development

“Misha has been attending swimming lessons every week since he was 5 months old. It’s expensive, but a lot of people help us. We’ve also started speech therapy. I understand that the future might bring more issues, but I hope that we will be able to overcome everything.”

Evgeny aims to raise awareness about Down Syndrome and encourage families who face the same challenges

“I want all the articles about Mishka and me that are being published now to convey that idea to society and instill it. And I also want to support, inspire with my example those people who are or will be in the same situation as me.

I try to communicate with those who are within reach, I correspond with those who are far away. I hope that those who have difficulties now, as it was for us, read about us. Have no fear! Everything will be fine!”

Damjan