30 Christmas Puns And Jokes That Will Crack You Up For Sure

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

May

• Published in Funny
• December 26, 2021

It's the most wonderful time of the year again. Beautiful, dancing lights spruce up the streets, and mugs of hot chocolate warm us up during the cold winter.

People celebrate Christmas differently. For most of us, it's a time to spend with the family and reflect on all the things that happened during the year.

Then we also have people who make things extra special for other people through different works of kindness. Of course, there's always another fun way to celebrate it.

Christmas is meant to be a happy holiday after all! And people want to celebrate it with humor.

In these challenging times, we want to make your Christmas a little merrier. So here are 30 Christmas jokes for you to enjoy.

Since it's the season of giving and we're being extra generous, we picked jokes with plenty of variety. From Christmas-themed puns and exaggerations to dark humor, we covered a variety of playful styles and festive favorites

We have the quick one-liners about presents and jokes about elves, reindeers, and most of all Santa Clause! All in one place.

We won't be spoiling the fun further so you can fully enjoy these jokes. So go ahead and scroll down to read this Christmas season's best jokes!

1. "What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days."

2. "I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats the children who get up early on Christmas morning. That way, I get to sleep in."

3. "What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren."

4. "What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows."

5. "What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman."

6. "What did the farmer get for Christmas? A cowculator."

7. "Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa."

8. "Who tells the best Christmas jokes? Reindeer. They sleigh every time."

9. "What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it."

10. "What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? Welfy."

11. "How is the alphabet different on Christmas than any other day? On Christmas, it has Noel."

12. "What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs."

13. "How does the snow globe feel this year? A little shaken."

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15. "What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause."

16. "Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners? RUDE-olph, of course."

17. "What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer."

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19. "If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one? At a retail store."

20. "Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard."

21. "What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!"

22. "Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation? At a Ho-ho-ho-tel."

23. "My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the Mass to start, he turned to her and asked, "What time does Jesus get here?"

24. "Why was the snowman embarrassed when he was spotted rummaging through a bag of carrots? He was caught picking his nose."

25. Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."

26. Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you love Jesus. Keep on texting while you drive if you want to meet him."

27. "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."

28. "Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them."

29. "I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, 'Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.' So I bought her nothing."

30. "Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll."

May