Mom Contemplates Abandoning Her Family After Getting Cancer Diagnosis For The Second Time

"I want to disappear and just let them remember me healthy and happy."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• September 15, 2024

A 41-year-old mom was on the verge of making a harrowing decision when she turned to Reddit for advice. The OP was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.

It wasn't her first time battling the life-threatening disease, so she had an idea about what the difficult road ahead had in store for her. She had a strong feeling she wouldn't beat the odds this time.

She seriously considered abandoning her husband and kids to spare them the pain of seeing her succumbing to her disease. OP said her family couldn't be more supportive as they reassured her she could survive another time because she looked so healthy.

OP said she may have looked healthy, but she felt the opposite. She was in pain, and she knew the odds were stacked against her.

She said it would be a miracle if she beat cancer for the second time. Beyond herself, OP's main concern was her family.

She hadn't started chemotherapy when she made the Reddit post. But she already knew she didn't want her family, especially her kids, to see her frail and balding.

She recalled how quiet and sad their home was during her last cancer diagnosis. OP said she could be the optimistic kind of cancer patient, but she knew she couldn't live up to those ideals.

The idea of putting her family through such hardship as she got sicker and less like herself was unthinkable to OP.

OP said she knew abandoning them wasn't a solution, but would reading a letter or watching a video of a dying loved one worse than seeing them fight a losing battle?

Most of the knee-jerk reaction strongly advised OP against abandoning her family.

They said it would be selfish if she went through with it because it would take her family's opportunity to make peace about her passing.

OP refuted that selfishness drove her decision. She just hoped to spare them from the pain. OP said she was looking for a solution to make things okay for her kids and prevent their childhood from being marred by her death.

Someone argued that abandoning them would create a different, potentially, worse scar.

If they handle the situation delicately, OP's kids could comprehend what could happen to her.

OP has another alternative. She could choose not to get the treatment and spend as many good days as possible with her family.

It was clear from OP's replies that she didn't expect any miracle, but she conceded that her kids could be traumatized differently if she left without a trace.

OP said her husband knew her odds of beating cancer were slim to none as much as she did. While he maintained hope, OP remained resigned.

If OP needed a little guidance about the inevitable difficult conversation she would have with her kids, another cancer survivor had a recommendation.

Those who lost a parent to cancer offered the best perspective to OP.

OP seemed more grounded after she read those comments.

It is unlikely for us to know OP's ultimate decision. She hasn't posted any updates in her profile and stopped responding to comments, but we join the Redditors in wishing her peace and warmth during a most difficult time.

Chelsi