AITA For Not Inviting In-Laws To Kids' Party After Calling Her A Mistake?

by James Duya

Are you the antagonist for choosing to exclude your husband's family from your child's birthday party after they referred to her as a mistake? The original poster recounts a disturbing incident where her in-laws made hurtful remarks about her daughter, labeling her as an "oopsie baby." The insensitive comments left the mother feeling enraged and concerned about her daughter's self-worth.

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The husband's reaction to the situation adds another layer of complexity, as he dismisses the incident as a minor comment and opposes excluding his family from the celebration. The thread has ignited a debate among commenters, with many supporting the mother's decision to set boundaries and protect her daughter from further emotional harm.

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Suggestions include having separate celebrations, confronting the husband about his stance, and seeking counseling to address the underlying family dynamics. The consensus leans towards prioritizing the well-being of the child and addressing the lack of support from the husband in standing up against his family's behavior.

The emotional impact of such hurtful words on a young child is emphasized, with commenters urging the mother to take action to shield her daughter from negativity. The thread delves into the nuances of family relationships, communication, and the importance of advocating for children's emotional health in the face of insensitive remarks.

Original Post

Me (25F) and my husband (26M) have been together for five years. We had our daughter pretty early on (she’s 4 now) and yeah, she wasn’t planned, but we were happy and I have no regrets at ALL.
His family, not so much. They’ve always been kinda cold towards me and honestly, I've noticed that they don’t treat our daughter the same as the other grandkids.
Last weekend, we were at his moms house for a late dinner, and she and my FIL were talking about my husband as a teenager. My mother in law than proceeded to joke in *front* of my daughter saying how he used to be so carefree and go with the flow "before he had to settle down so fast." Then she added "I bet he wished he had more time before jumping into the dad life with an oopsie baby." I was pissed.

We ended up leaving soon after that since it was getting late anyways, and that night as I tucked my daughter into bed she asked me what an oopsie baby was. I felt heartbroken for her and basically explained that sometimes people have kids by accident, but that doesn't make her any less special.
After I put her to bed I ranted to my husband, saying I don't want his MIL around our daughter if she's going to be saying stuff like that. The last thing I want is for my baby girl to be questioning whether or not she's wanted.
I said I don't want my family in law at her fifth birthday party next month and I won't be sending them an invite until they apologize for making things awkward. My husband says I'm overreacting over a small comment and I need to relax and not make this a thing.He argued saying I shouldn't overreact a comment she made when she was tired.

He told me I'm not allowed to uninvite \*his\* family, especially over this. Am I overreacting?
Should I just suck it up and let them come to the party and risk my daughter hearing more harmful things? I'm honestly really upset but I feel like I'm the only person who's mad so idk what to do.
AITA?